THE EASE THAT WOULD NEVER BE MINE AGAIN by Adam Rejto

The first time you pick up an instrument you feel empowered, it seems as though it will be your weapon. The first instrument I was drawn to was the bagpipe. I sensed a distant connection to Scotland, or Afghanistan. I wanted to be able to connect with it. I began to take lessons with an elderly woman who was eager to take me as her student. I loved it for the first few weeks, and then I began to notice her eyes. Her eyes would follow me everywhere. Sometimes she would tell me that she had just gotten some sort of surgery on them, and they were healing. Something about them haunted me, I would sit next to her, blowing into my chanter, seeing through my peripheral vision, her eyes, staring. I couldn't take it any longer, I had to stop playing.

I took a few months off from music, until I felt a strong connection once again, this time not to one specific nation, but to the world. I wanted to bury myself in world music. Tones from Guatemala, melodies from France, and lyrics from Israel. I wanted to connect. Hesitantly, I began to play the guitar. I wasn't attracted to it, until I let a pattern of notes flow through my head, they were played by Leo Kottke, they changed me. I fell in love with the 12-string guitar, and when the opportunity came, I instantly bought one. I fell in love with it right away. I started playing more and more, and even started seeing a new teacher.


I knew that the ease which I had felt with my previous guitar teacher would never belong to me again. Raphael began to teach me things I had never thought about, creating a new universe for me to view music through. He further inspired me, he made me want to be immersed in Ethnomusicology. As I studied more with him, I began to pick up new instruments, I started to diddle with the cello, the sitar, the cuatro, and many other little instruments. They began to cast heavy shadows in my life, I had to practice every day. And even though it added some stress to my life, it made me happy. Even though I had a new responsibility, I still felt empowered.